Lonely Moms Club #3

Parenting And Pet Experts + A Mom You Can Relate To

May 16, 2025

Hi friends,

Read on for expert insight on parenting kids and pets, must-hear music, the nail polish that forever changed my at-home manicures, and the mom you can relate to.

Diary of a Lonely Mom

May is Food Allergy Awareness Month and as someone with too many food allergies to count, I wanted to provide some insight into what life is like for those like me who face these challenges. I deff compare it to an invisible illness that no one truly understands unless you have it.

The anxiety. The 24/7 stress of fearing for your safety or coming in contact with an allergen. The sadness of having such a restricted diet. The annoyance of people constantly asking you ‘what can you eat?’ Wishing you could eat the same meals as your kids. Having to sit at restaurants and watch people eat or gush over how it’s the best thing they ever had. Eating the SAME thing for every meal for YEARS. The food challenges and testing. Searching for safe foods and then being so upset if they get taken off the market. The feeling when you are so close to being able to eat something but then reading that one ingredient to ruin it for you. Yelling at family for leaving crumbs on the counter or bringing home something with sesame seeds and then vacuuming 500 crumbs to make sure you got up all the ones that spilled. Hospital visits. Carrying allergy meds and Epi-pens everywhere. Praying your kids don’t have allergies. Worrying your family has allergens on them and then they try to hug or kiss you. Missing out on holidays and birthday cakes. Washing hands constantly. The panic when you realize you ate something by accident. The frustration of wanting to eat healthy and be healthy but your body can’t eat fruits or veggies. Skipping events because hosts are paying expensive costs per plate and you can’t eat. Bringing your own food everywhere. Not being able to travel unless you have a hotel with a kitchen and a rental car to find food and hope you can find food you can eat where you are…. I could go on. This is what I deal with daily.

We all need to be aware and make the world safer for people whose lives are ironically at risk from the thing that keeps us alive.

PARENTING PROBLEMS SOLVED

How to Helping Your Child Feel Safe to Open Up
Stacy Thiry, LMHC, Mental Health Provider from Grow Therapy

Open communication with our kids matters and the sooner we establish it, the less stress we will have in the tween and teen years.

“The way we talk and listen to our children shapes how they see themselves, others, and the world,” says Thiry. “When kids know they can come to us without fear of being judged or dismissed, they’re more likely to talk to us not just about the little things, but the big stuff, too, friend drama, self-doubt, anxiety, even mistakes. Establishing that safe space early makes a huge difference in their long-term emotional health.”

Thiry shares tips with Lonely Moms Club:

· Be gently curious. “I noticed you seemed a little quiet after school, what was that like for you today?” Not “What’s wrong with you?”

· Pick the right time. Big talks don’t usually happen under bright lights with lots of eye contact. Try connecting while walking the dog, folding laundry, or in the car—low-pressure moments create comfort.

· Listen more than you speak. This one’s hard for us grown-ups! But letting your child talk without immediately jumping in with advice or correction tells them: “I believe in your voice.”

· Validate first, solve later. If your child tells you something tough, start with, “That sounds really hard. I’m so glad you told me.” You can get to problem-solving once they feel heard.

· Share your own feelings. It helps when kids hear us say, “I felt nervous too when I started a new job,” or “I get frustrated sometimes, and here’s what I do.”

The grays are coming—but I’m not hiding. I’m embracing my glaring sign of aging and refuse to start coloring my hair after I broke free from the salon chair about a decade ago. Anyone else glowing up gray?

THERAPY DOG

Your dog might be driving you crazy with his excessive barking, pacing, repeated licking, or destroying your house, but those are actually signs your fur baby might be suffering from anxiety, according to Thrive Pet Healthcare.

“Many dog owners don’t realize that short-term stress or chronic anxiety can cause a recurrent presence of gastrointestinal signs, such as diarrhea, stomach cramping, nausea, vomiting, or decreased appetite, said Board Certified Veterinary Internist Dr. Kasey Mabry at South Carolina Veterinary Specialists and Emergency Care in Columbia, South Carolina. “Pro-active treatment with diet, supplements, medications, or behavioral modification techniques can improve the dog’s quality of life and reduce the frequency and severity of these episodes.”

AUDIO CRUSH

BTS member Jin just dropped his second solo album, Echo. The first single, “Don’t Say You Love Me,” is sung in English and features a cinematic video. The track “Loser (feat. YENA)” is also super fun. Jin is hitting the USA on tour this summer and you know I’ll be there!

I also have to mention Jin's new press photos because I want to dress like him. Leather jackets, denim and pins, cool bracelets, blue nails... and the faux fur. He might be my new style icon.

thejoellesperanza

A post shared by @thejoellesperanza

I’m also obsessed with ENHYPEN member Jay’s cover of Bon Jovi’s “Always.” Bon Jovi was my favorite band when I was in high school (Next to BSB, of course! I was a 90s teen!) Jay brought new life to this classic and I can’t stop hitting the play button.

Since this is Issue 3, I need to shout-out my favorite indie rock/ pop-punk band The Marvelous 3. I spent a lot of time in my 20s at Butch Walker solo shows and covering him for my music ‘zine and TV show. Here’s one of my favorite quotes he told me during an interview:

A fresh at-home manicure instantly boosts my mood and self-confidence. I opt for bright pinks, purples, and blues and found my faves with Olive and June nail polish. Now, it’s the only brand I’ll use. The colors fit all my moods, depending on if I want a bold pop of color or a neutral tone. No matter the shade, my polish shines for about a week and doesn’t chip as easily as other brands.

Think you don’t have time to do your nails?

Multi-tasking Mom Tip: Apply polish before you start your work day or while you’re at your desk. They’ll dry while you type.

BOOK CRUSH

I don’t know which romance novel to read next. Here’s my TBR pile.

Wish you had more time to read? Here are some ideas:

Bring a book in the car while you wait for your kids at school pickup.
Set family reading for 20 minutes a night. (Most schools assign reading as homework).
Instead of watching the Hammerbarn episode of Bluey for the 300th time, get cozy on the couch with your new page-turner while the kids are captivated.

THE MOM YOU CAN RELATE TO

In her new book, What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up?: And Other Thoughts From a 40-something Mom, Karen Johnson— aka The 21st Century SAHM— shares that resentment and the “who has it harder” game nearly killed her marriage—but one phone call saved it.

“I resented my husband swooping in to be ‘fun Daddy’ after a long, tiring day of mothering for me,” says Johnson. “I used to get dressed in expensive pants and ironed tops for work. I used to eat fancy dinners and drink cocktails at happy hour after work on Fridays. And yes, I had chosen the path of a stay-at-home mom, but I couldn’t fight the feelings of resentment. One day he asked me, ‘Do we have a dinner plan or do you need me to pick something up?’ It was a small, but meaningful act. And it showed me that he understood that even though I was a stay-at-home mom, making sure dinner was ready every night wasn’t solely my responsibility.”

BACK TO SCHOOL

I recently spoke to my daughter’s 5th grade about how to write and publish your dream book. One class asked for my autograph so I think I did my job! My daughter was mortified I talked about Princess Genevieve: The Hero With Girl Power, which I wrote for her when she was five years-old.

They asked great questions like:

-How long does it take to write a book?
(It took me a few months for Princess Genevieve: The Hero With Girl Power, about one year for my memoir Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s, one year for my closed door boy band tribute romance novel The Comeback Tour, and I created some of my coloring books for children and adults in a few hours!

-They want to write books but still have other jobs. Is that OK? (Your best bet!)